im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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