Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
