There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
