why didn't you poke me back
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
