Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
she pinky promised me she was 18
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
