Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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