I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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