dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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