I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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