I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The struggles of a small town man whore
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
