you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
