I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
