sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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