Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
