There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
time to smoke my breakfast
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
