But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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