I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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