So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
