he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
