I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
