new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
