you traded sex for a burrito?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
