and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I have aggressive nipples.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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