Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
