and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
YAS. BRING CRAB.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
