I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
