Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
