I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
