So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
