My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Let's paint friendship bongs
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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