I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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