i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
