Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
