All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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