He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It's never too late to be topless.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
