Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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