She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
