At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
