Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
