PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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