Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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