i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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