Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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