SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
