dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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