lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
