Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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