So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
