hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
