At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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