she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
