I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
